I should be ashamed of myself.
But, I'm a little tired of shaming myself.
One of these days, I might actually be good enough for even myself! <>.
It's been 9 months since my last post, and I promised myself then I would be better about it. Back to the shaming part.
So, here's the topic. It's February 2nd. Well, that's the start of the topic anyway. The main topic right now is how much I've finally figured out that
I MISS having LOVE in my life. I have been doing a little research into different meeting spots lately - and, having drawn the attention of one specific gentleman (until the pictures were exchanged and I played back the underlying suggestions in my own mind, outside of everything else), I just want what alot of single women want. I just want a good guy. I don't even care what he looks like anymore (save that). As for February, well - I did get married on the 14th once, and that was a mistake - absolutely RUINED the holiday for me - I guess deep down inside I am still a romantic at heart...
Now, here's my issues - I'm 50. I've been married twice, and other than my beautiful children who have their own lives (how fortunate they are!) - neither marriage was a good one and neither marriage stuck. But it really isn't all about marriage! It's just about finding love. Feeling that emotion for someone. Caring for and about someone - and being cared about. It doesn't seem that difficult. Almost all of my friends found their love early in life and are still married. I won't ever have that (and I won't cry at work). Oh boy, now I've gone and gotten myself depressed.
Alright, see sometimes I just need to talk things out in my own head. I'm already better for just saying it. Tori is almost grown (end of her Junior year and yes, we are both still alive!) and I want school (college) for her so badly...praying that works out. It probably wouldnt hurt to put a little prayer back in my life - as it is in His hands anyway, and only the Lord knows which guy would be a good match for me...
Happy Valentines Day (soon). Bah-humbug. :)
